MAY 2023
Cool technology was created by The Jetsons.
JANUARY 2023
I've had a taste of performing in huge theaters lately and I have to confess that when we're talking audiences, size does matter.
The bigger the audience the skinnier I feel and the skinnier I feel the funnier I am so it's a win-win.
Miniature golf balls are the same size as regular golf balls.
Documentary idea: Hair of Politicians.
You can eat four of the best meals you ever ate in as many days.
You might make new friends in your sixties.
A friend is someone whose voice you want to hear, both what they say and how they sound.
When somebody says you already met them, go with it.
A great show puts me in homeostasis.
I can only remember one street joke. It's about a guy whose wife is losing her hearing. Caroline Rhea told it to me.
People are intricate.
Eating ice cream after not eating it for years is not disappointing.
DECEMBER 2022
It's not every day that you're alive.
It's definitely winter. The clean laundry has static cling and the coconut oil has solidified.
SEPTEMBER 2022
Write it down. Or your thoughts will go back to thin air.
Everything I eat tastes delicious with watermelon.
This is my first time being a person.
OCTOBER 2022
Inform your art by living.
NOVEMBER 2022
If you work out, things will work out.